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Alpha Nu Alpha//Omega Chapter

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(pledge AnA)

[08 Dec 2004|11:50pm]

36 hour liquid fast. Can you make it??
Start: 10.30pm 12/8/04
Finish: 10.30am 12/10/04

Allowances on 12/9/04:
-water and lemon juice
-diet coke and lemon juice
-green tea with lemon juice

Allowances on 12/10/04:
-One cup multigrain Cheerios
-1 cup 1% milk
-3 Servings of Edamame
-1 Banana

My parents both have to work tomorrow. I have the day off without any obligations. I intend on going to the gym and getting on the treadmill (30minsX2) and doing some weights. I also intend on doing a small amount of Xmas shopping with the small amount of money I have right now. Then, laundry, room organizing, and car cleaning. So, I know I can keep myself distracted.

(pledge AnA)

Zantrex-3 [06 Dec 2004|08:43pm]

For those of you who have taken Zantrex-3, what results have you gotten? Are you liking your results? Let me know, because I hear good things about it and want to give it a try.

And PLEASE don't give me a speel on the Niacin content and its cause of skin flushing, because I already know all about it and I know to avoid the skin flushing, the pill(s) should be taken with food. If you do give me an unnecessary speel, expect words from me.

(pledge AnA)

[25 Sep 2004|10:13pm]

The other night, after binging on a ton of low carb spaghetti, I purged as much of it as I could. I didn't want to, but my body was telling me to.

From the moment I started throwing up, my face seems to have broken out in this ugly rash. My eyelids were severely swollen (and still are quite a bit). In fact, my eyelids even have this nasty looking rash type thing on them too.

This has never happened to me before. I'm a bit worried. Was this reaction a direct result of the purging? Or is it something else that just appeared as a result of the stress of the purging?

I look like a freakin' monster...

(4 pledgess pledge AnA)

YES 104 [20 Aug 2004|11:00pm]

[ mood | happy ]

OK i am now down to 104 yay for  me. Only 4 more lbs till i reach my STGW 100 woo hooo...if only i can lose the lbs. befor sep 7th whe i go back to school...i hope i hope i hope...any tips/tricks advice???? yea im diffinatly open to advice and stuff ....i thnik i should post more often i get respnces and eveyone is so helpful adn nice in all of the communities i belong to THANK YOU SO MUCH!!  It truly helps! GOOD LUCK to EVERYONE <333  i can't wait till i get down to 100 yay yaya ya y im overly happy b/c i was stuck at 108-105 for such a dreadfully long time! so yay ok any who here are some pics ... picsCollapse )

(1 pledges pledge AnA)

Hi all! A little about myself! [06 Aug 2004|04:07pm]


Heres a little about myself... I started my ana around a year and a half ago because of ravenrockcandy.org <~ Amazing forum check it out... but then i kind of put it under the rug and now ive come back to it after a fight with prednizone.* nasty stuff... *

5'1'' - cw: 120-117 goal weight 1: ( im on a fast right now any joiners ? ) 115 chest : 34.5 waist: 25 hips:34.5  .. Anyways- this is my first all ana journal and im completely excited and also excited to have joined this community!...<3

(4 pledgess pledge AnA)

[04 Aug 2004|12:46pm]

[ mood | awake ]

Anyone live near or around Pittsburgh PA. Just couriouse because I live near there..i'm trying to meett new ppl adn this is a good way i guess/hope. (other then communities wich is great very helpful adn fun)
Nothing new i went shopping on Sunday i got some jeans a pait of sunglasses (those big retro ones i love them) and a black knit poncho yay!

(1 pledges pledge AnA)

[29 Jul 2004|10:22pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

i Know that grapefruit has cals. in it bu tdosn't it also help burn cals as well??

(7 pledgess pledge AnA)

[28 Jul 2004|08:24pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

I am new here and i have ana and i LOVE it.
my statsare as follows:
Height: 5'2 3/4
My goal is to be 90-95 range.
i love anything girly like makup Mary Kay(i sell haha),Cloths Jewels,basicly anything spakly funky and fun.I have never been clinicly diagnosed or hospitalized(yet) thank god i would freak if they tryed to tube feed me. I am looking for support adn new ana friends becuase latly everyone wants to bring me down. i support everyone and hopefully you support me .

(pledge AnA)

[28 Jul 2004|09:22am]

Hey guys! The chat last night was fun! Were gonna do it everynight now lol. It really helps on not eating for like hours and it keeps you really busy. As I understand there were a few chats last night, which is cool. You can only have like 10 ppl in each room, so we need more anyway! Please come to my chat tho its great! lol. Anyway, I have to work today, Im not sure if its at 11 or at 4 tho..oops. Either way its for 4 hours. Then I get to go to the grocery with my dad-I plan on looking for some very low cal popcorn...Im excited about this find-my chat buddies told me about this one. haha. I weighed in at 106...thats 1 lb away from my stgw and 8 lbs from my ltgw. I need to start taking vitamins tho, anyone have any suggestions? Im afraid Im gonna look really washed out and sick. Ive been maintaining my 500-800 cals a day, and it works pretty well for me-I dont fast. I need to keep my metabolism up. Hope youre all doing well. Ill post later...the chat site is in my journal, but Ill post it later! Ill be there around 930 (ohio time) tonight...same as the last two nights!

(pledge AnA)

[20 Jul 2004|11:54pm]

i am x posting in _thinlikeher, _thinspiration_, _thinspire, ana_diaries, anagirlz,aussie_ana, elite_ana, inspirational_, ohno___ana, perfectandpure, sexy_anorexia, str1p_it_away & vanity_lbs to say goodbye
i am, again, attempting recovery. but i will win this time! i am sure of it. this is what i want, i want my life back. not to please others or out of fear anymore but for myself .. i deserve to be a normal , happy seventeen year old girl again.

i don't like who my ED turns me into .. i am sick of the tears, the obsession, the pain, the starving, the guilt, the bingeing, abusing my body, abusing my mind, hating myself, pushing away my friends, the unattainable goals, the pressure, the disappointment, the lies, the broken dreams .. everything, all off it!
so i am finally ready to let go and i am so, so very lucky that i still have people who love me enough through this to want to catch me.

my ED is stopping my body from changing, stopping me from changing my body, blocking my mind out to change. so, it must go now.
because Japan and my whole future means fare too much to me to lose to an Ana fantasy (crashing disappointments one after another).
i want to live my life, enjoy it, enjoy each day, enjoy the future and the NOW, smile, enjoy and love myself .. love being ME .. i want to be so much more than beauty, i want to love myself enough to be worthy of being loved. and SHINE!

i am done taking the easy way out, hiding from reality & inevitably growing, using my ED as a comfort blanket (that i am drowning myself in, falling and fading). i am learning to do it properly .. proper diet, weight loss & exercise without starving, abusing my body, binge, consuming my entire time/life/mind, obsession, and messing with dangerously with my health and metabolism.
i don't even have to hide away and lie and be embaresed and feel selfish and guilt ridden. and i feel happy! and healthy (which is no longer a dirty word)! whoopiee!

of course, i still dream of 90 - 100 lbs and adore MK,twiggy,james,mena,devon etc (healing also takes focus and time) but i hope as my mind clears i will like the idea of 110 or even 120 lbs more&more. and be happy to settle for thin, rather than thinnest. to see things the way they do (the happy un-obbsessed clear headed type, that is).

i am sorry if i am annoying/upsetting anyone (or un-triggering those who wish to be triggerd?) , really .. i am not here to preach recovery
(because i know how annoying/confusing/pointless it is when you don't want to hear it, i've been there remember.) i wouldn't waste of my time trying.

so, i am un - friending
this community but i would like stay a member (just to check up on everybody every-so-often), if you nobody minds, of course.
but you can talk to me, okay? recovery or not. about anything. so, dont be strangers hey!
MSN / email: ditzy_milo@hotmail.com , AIM: melodyarden
i will keep this lj, __holiday , too .. for all my diet / recovery / ED related things.

i will miss you all, my sisters and our secret society .. a sort of sick fun
& wish you the very best of luck & really do hope all of your dreams come true, and you get to where you want to be (or look the way you want to look) so you can, eventually, be happy too .
but don't waste too much of your lives trying if your wasting your present waiting for the future that never comes.

thin wishes,
♥ Melody

(1 pledges pledge AnA)

[12 Jul 2004|10:30am]

hey! i'm new to this community. here are my stats.

H: 5'4
CW: 129-131[flucuates like crazy]
HW: 150
LW: 87
STGW: 115-120 by july 23rd

(pledge AnA)

[07 Jul 2004|01:08am]

[ mood | curious ]

Sorry...kinda new at this guys!

Let me explain a little about myself!

When I was younger I always ate EVERYTHING...and never gained a pound! My parents are both small...which is why I dont understand why I am like this...

Anyway, I would eat and eat and eat all the way until like sophomore year in hs. Although I never even weighed 100 lbs until freshman year, I always felt FAT (you know how this is)! I am a short girl (prob around 5'3) so I always felt like everything I ate would just show so easily. I started dieting in like sophomore year of hs but it never got too serious until college. I was always aware of what I ate and how I exercised though in hs and I know that ppl noticed and would jokingly make fun of my strange and somewhat OCD habits! When I went to college, I ate what I wanted when I wanted (although my mom never made dinner and I was always alone in hs to make my own food..which is I think where this stems from mostly). My roomate was a friend from hs so she didnt say anything about how I NEVER went to the dining hall, and when I did I would only eat salad and soup (sometimes). The other times I bought food at the markets (jello, salad, rice cakes) and LIVED off of these for months. I know that cant be good, but it was better than me going to the dining hall (atleast in my eyes...) So here I am at home this summer, living on my own (eating WHAT I WANT!) Its great. I am very afraid though that I will ruin my metabolism, but I am on a good streak...eating only fat-free cottage cheese, fat-free bologna (20 cals! Love it!), low-fat yogurt, sugar-free jello and popcicles, green tea, coffee, fruit and veggies. I don't consider myself anorexic per se, but I def have ED-NOS. I cant eat normally! I get mad when people want to go out to eat (its like I think to myself, why! I dont want to eat when u want me to, Ill do it in the privacy of my own home BY MYSELF!) God...why do I think this way?! I hate it, but I love my self-control...none of my friends have it! They dont get it at all...and a lot of ppl say I am small but I think Im not small enough...I want ribs people! When I go to the grocery I buy "guest food", a cabinet full of chips, cookies, popcorn, pretzels...all for my guests to eat and get fat! I love the control of me not eating it! It also fools my parents! It doesnt fool my friends tho, a few of the guys jokingly call me anorexic bc they look in the fridge and dont see anything but diet food.) Do you all think I have a problem here? I cannot eat a meal! I cannot! I would be in a bad mood for a week if I did. I would rather eat low-cal foods and a lot of them (oral fixation-which is why I drink a lot of diet pop and smoke.) than eat a meal of 600 cals...thats just weird to me to eat all that gross food. Its almost to the point where restaurants disgust me. What is food to most people? comfort? why? Just dont eat it and be skinny! Eat to survive but dont eat anything but low cals. I try not to eat more than 600-1000 cals a day. I look at people on tv and my friends and just think man they have fat arms, probably from the pizza that they eat...dont they get it? Just dont eat that...dont they care if people think theyre fat bc all they do is eat? Does anyone else think this way? (sorry my post was so long!)

(1 pledges pledge AnA)

[30 Jun 2004|11:41pm]

I can't take it. She is lecturing me on what I am allowed to eat and not eat, and she's almost done with a bottle of wine and a large bowl of tortilla chips. And, she's starting on something else.

She's got some nerve being this blatantly hypocritical.
It's fucked up.

Here is her last comment to me for the night:
I'm in her room saying goodnight to her, and I just happen to be eating a banana, one of the few things I have actually eaten today.
My mother: Is that your desert and then you are done. (she structered it as a question, but said it as a statement.)
She sat there waiting for an answer as I just looked at her in utter bewilderment. I almost slapped her and asked, "who the fuck are you to talk, you lush?" But, I refrained and just smiled sweetly and said:

Really. What the fuck. Seriously. This woman is in need of serious help. The only effort she is making in terms of herself is to further damaging her health and not lose weight. The only effort she is making in temrs of me is damaging my self-esteem even more than it already is. She really does get a fucking kick out of DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY.

And here I am, convinced I am a fucking horrible ugly monster. And, don't cuking tell me I'm not, because you aren't my mother and I have every right to hate you. Because I fell like a leper, I puked up the banana and chicken and cucumber and bell pepper and edamame that I ate (yes it sounds like a lot, but because I live with the fucking Hitler of self esteem, it was a severely miniscule amount of each of those) and have now decided to go on a 36 hour fast (if not longer). I plan on surviving for the next 36 hours on water, diet coke, and diet pills.

A part of me wants to take my mother in a chokehold and not let go until she apologises and means it, but that part is being beaten up by my fucked up love for my mother. Why I love her, I don't know. But, that is all. I want to go run five miles now. But, I have to wait for my dad to go to bed.

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i'm new, be nice to me [25 May 2004|04:17pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

hi. i'm carolann. uhhhh i've been ana for as long as i can remember. or had ana tendencies. but yeah. here are my stats

height: 5'4
CW: 107

yeah. so i'm not really doing very well. because i suck at life.

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perfection.. [09 May 2004|09:31pm]

[ mood | worried ]

I wrote this today..

"Don't be afraid of perfection..you'll never reach it and if for some fucked up reason you do, you will want more than just perfection."

p.s: x-posted like crazy stuff! :P

(pledge AnA)

Newbie [07 May 2004|09:48pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Hey,my names lora im from the uk.Recently ive started taking zantrex 3 and have found that they do work slightly but they are not working fast enough for me.Im a uk size 10,but would prefer to have smaller hips and a smaller bum.
Anyways i just thought id start posting to share tips and share my progress with every1.

(1 pledges pledge AnA)

hi, newbie. [28 Mar 2004|02:23am]

I know this is a somewhat yucky topic and I apologise, but I am wondering about peoples' experiences with laxatives of any kind (herbal/OTC/whatever). The thought of using them never really crossed my mind until a few weeks ago, when my throat was raw for various different reasons.

Let me know...

(9 pledgess pledge AnA)

Purging [22 Mar 2004|02:45pm]
Hi guys
I was hoping anyone could give me some tips on purging.
I'm more into fasting myself, but my parents keep a close eyes on me these days. So sometimes I don't really have much of a choice.
I often tried purging, but I only get tears in my eyes, sore nuckels and a bleeding throat :s
I heard drinking loads of water makes it more easy, and I try it, but I still can't throw up..
What am I doing wrong?
Any tips would really be appreciated.
Thanks a lot

xxx K

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sorry to advertise, but... [03 Jan 2004|03:24am]

anybody else really annoyed by anorexic fakes? i just created a new community (just tonight, so it's pretty empty so far, more the reason for you to join!)
where i plan to weed out the fakes...
if you aren't in these just to "learn how to become anorexic", please swing by...

sorry, crossposted like crazy - last time though...

(pledge AnA)

X-posted [27 Dec 2003|02:34am]

hi. ive been a reader of the livejournal ana communities for a little over a yr now and havent ever posted.. having a community of my own at another server i've always liked to read here but it seems like a lot of these communities dont get updated much anymore..so ive thought if any of you were looking for a slightly more active community or just something new you are very welcome at my own which can be found here. if you dont have a crazylife account yet, getting one is as easy as this no invite codes or money necessary.. members are paired with a personal ED buddy to help each member stay motivated
and offer support, along with our site which contains other thinspiration and such..

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